30 days

I watched this TED Talk today and have stopped my list-making ever since. Well, I got inspired so fast is mainly because I have precisely 30 days right now till semester #3 starts and I have been feeling useless since the past two days.

I spent this summer doing a lot of stuff I did not imagine I would do, visiting and lot of places and learning so much that I never thought I could learn. So after two months of jam-packed abnormal fun, I thought I would love  just laying back and sleeping the next one month. But as these lazy days are passing, I am feeling more and more uncomfortable and bored.

So, this 30 day thing seems worth trying. I have made my list but will not share it right now. I will share tasks as they become relevant or complete.

Another added bonus: I get to make tickable lists.

Starting tomorrow, let the ticking off begin!

Darkest Things

Some incredible lyrics from one of my favorite songs:

And it's funny how the darkest things
You only find when you've been searching
Don't back down from what you need
Guiltiness it only makes you mean

Busy Choices

Yeah, the title does not make sense , I can read it too. But the past two weeks have been so overwhelming in being busy and making choices that these two words have just become intermingled in my brain. I read(rather heard) somewhere that while you need to have plans for the future, some events in life are like dots, which connect themselves in the future in ways that may surprise you. Now knowing this fact, its irritating when your brain starts to already explore ways in which these dots may connect. And this has started affecting my decisions which is, again, irritating.

I always looked at some people and thought, "Man, this guy always remains so busy, why does he need to, can't he relax". I vividly remember even once scolding a person close to me about remaining so busy and not taking out time to chill. The bad part comes when one day you realize that you are in a position worse than that. Its even more frustrating when you have a ton of work and realize that you haven't done it as fast as you could. Its then that I realize that why can't I relax. Do I need to be that guy? What's the use of it? What will it give me at the end of the day? Is it worth it?


Decisions. Choices. You need to make them. But when? Probably what caused all this were two simple lines by one of my college faculty:

You have to make choices in life and take a stand.

You can't be good at everything. You can't do Science, Commerce and Arts together.

Reading it like this, it seems nothing you are not aware of. But for me, it is probably the timing of these words. At a time, when I am overwhelmed with stuff. And confused about what I want. And silently realizing that I can't do it all. But again some stuff for me seemed so mixed up, that making a simple choice led to a series of serious big-time decisions which will affect my future actions and intentions.

I knew that I have to make these decisions at some point, but why now? Why do you have to think of so far even to make a small choice? Why have you screwed up your brain in a way that its making you do this? But then you start to get the feeling that maybe this is not bad. Even if I have to decide now, it probably for the best. Its time to finally face things and clear out your head. Optimism is beneficial only when you know when to use it.

So, finally I faced it. Took decisions. Made choices. At the end of it, I finally know what I want. Which is a big thing itself. This was not a dot that will connect itself in the future. This was two dots from the past that got connected themselves now. The whole thing was a line being beautifully drawn. And the feeling of satisfaction after drawing the line, by taking some decisions, is enormous.

Bottom-line: Being busy is okay if you enjoy it. Make decisions asap. They help.

Resolutions

Its a new year. I won't do a year review now. Birthdays are good for that. Its time for some resolutions. Some say they are meant to be broken. But I'll leave that phrase to promises and begin optimistically. To sustain them, my list is small:

1. Initiate Project Y. Its been on my mind for a long time now and its finally time to start with a codename. I won't let this one become a procrastinated sulk. Its too big in my brain for that. I have started on the right note with weekly time allocations(This week is done!) and keeping it just in my head. No expectations, pressure, questions or answers. My only fear is managing it with my semester studies but I think I'll be able to do it. Rest is planned and I'm not looking back. More updates will come as it progresses but I'll not define any timelines!

2. Lose it. Here 'it' simply means some(more) body fat. This is definitely must be the world no. 1 in new year resolutions to be listed and cheated on. Let's see how good I'll be at keeping it.

3. Time. Need to control it, manage it, use it. This is probably the most bugging thing in my head of all time now. I've always cribbed about this to myself but this year I really want things to be different. Using a planner or anything doesn't work and I always end up wondering why I am not doing anything when I have a million things-to-do. This is also my most feared resolution that I may not be able to keep up. But habits change aaand we're back to optimism.

4. Read and learn. These two words here are to be used together and separately. I actually freaked out these holidays after realizing that there are so many books with me to read and so many more to be discovered. Its something I enjoy yet have no idea why I don't do. And learning also means learning new things. Guitar classes are good to start with and I'll probably start in a week or two. 

5. Blog more. This post may be six days late and there may be seven drafts in my Blogger account, but I will blog more.

P.S. WHOEVER you are, don't ever ask anything about Project Y, coz it won't be any good. Also, after the feedback, the comments bug is now fixed which creeped in after the template change.

College

After promising weekly posts 4 months earlier, here I am writing at the end of the semester about my college life in a post which was supposed to be called 'My First Day in College'. No explanations, no excuses. Just procrastination and life stuff. Next blog post- asap.

Moving on, college has been simply fulfilling. I just really like it here. The way things are and work just suit me. Fine. Kinda perfect. I think its the first time I have felt like this about some part of my life.

Each morning I come here at IIIT Delhi, a very new institute which doesn't even have its own permanent campus yet and functions in just 2 floors in NSIT(a good college and our campus host, yet a world different from us). Ever since the counselling and orientation here, I knew that this place is suited for me. The faculty has mostly young people who are casually dressed and there are seniors who never have to be called sir/ma'am. The studies are bitchin' killing with focus on coding yet on not being a geek. There is always some newness in the air, you don't have to follow stuff, you can start it. Rules are bendy when needed and strict when they should be. Morals and learning are the focus sometimes and fun is the focus when it should be. We don't have grand infrastructure but AC classrooms, super-fast internet, new PCs, a pool table and a TT table are enough to keep us more than happy and occupied for now. Cultural, sports and tech stuff are just starting off with some exciting stuff here and there. BTW, did I mention, studies are the focus. They give us two 4-month semesters in a year with almost 4 months free but at a condition: we will bury you with studies for those 4 months. Homeworks, assignments, quizzes, tests, projects, deadlines... all seem to be a part of life now. Everything is evaluated but dunno why, it seems good.

Now enough about the college, what about how I am doing here. Here, I have changed myself a little bit. I don't want just to bury myself with books and assignments. I want to score good but not too much. Instead, I like doing everything. On the first day itself, I became the class-rep(or See-Aar as people shout all the time).   Its a decision I was rethinking initially due to the amount of work involved, but for now, I am going to stick to it just because I like doing the time-consuming stuff involved and because you get a little say in how the college works(if the GPA requirements allow me, results will tell.) Also I won a pen drive in a programming contest, despite scoring low in the subject. Also, I organized a class party, participated in a quiz, an extempore, made android apps, websites, did some work that actually paid and finally, climbed the college roof a lot. I also have to mention travelling in a Swift filled with 9 people. I am also planning(notice the alsos) to help organize the upcoming tech fest next year and am in the elections for it. You see, I may not be buried in books or programming, but I still keep myself busy. The semester is now ending with exams starting really soon(I really really shouldn't be writing blog posts). The best part is actually scratching off some small goals from your imaginary list of never-ending stuff to do in life and also realizing that much more can be scratched off too. In the process, I am also making some good friends and getting addicted to the internet and Wi-Fi.

So, today, here I am in the hostel living in some friends' room for a week to prepare for the final end-sem exams which start day after while planning to sleep early today to run the the full Delhi Half Marathon tomorrow(more on that later) with my college team.

Lovin' it...

My First Blog Post

Finally!!! I have been wanting to start a blog for so long now. Now finally after starting and shutting a couple of blogs, here is my attempt to blog again. I have nothing in particular to write today as thinking of a name already sucked up my brain of any words. Its a dead-end for now on a name.

Different people have different aims with blogs, some write for a project, news, technology, art, then there are DIY blogs, recipe blogs, personal diaries, and so on. I don't have a specific purpose, I just want to write what I feel like. It may seem pretty random at times but that's the way it is. It's not completely useless as I do have a motive, I want to read what I thought. I want to smile, be embarrassed, laugh, be proud of, just want to see what I wrote after a period of time. Its always fun to do that.

As for shutting down again, I am pretty optimistic that it won't happen this time. I have set a VERY ambitious goal of writing at least one post a week(weekend most probably), so lets see how that goes. Also I have bought my own domain(apoorvnarang.com), so I don't want to waste it. I am also exploring the fun options of owning your own domain name on the world wide web.

As for life, there are big things and changes lined up ahead for me. Its an exciting turning point. Lets see what happens next. I have a few things to post and discuss and will try to keep a good frequency at least till my college starts. Pretty obvious but important to say, comments are not just welcomed but highly encouraged. It is important for a blogger to know what people feel when they read your blog posts. So just blurt out what you want.

I know starting a blog is not that big of a deal but still it requires some push to commit to something. So I'll thank some known people first for encouraging and supporting me like Karan(looking forward to your upcoming blog), Bhavna Didi(hoping you will at least let me read your blog now), and all close friends for suggesting and helping with stuff. More importantly I am glad to read some blogs of people I know less which inspired me to start including vivekn.net, woikr.com, ankurb.info, Jitu's blog and many more.

I thought I'd end with a qoute or so but couldn't find one today. Yeah, the blog is incomplete. But I had to start it on 11th July, I like the date too much.